Day 46 - Rough, gritty, never ending and seemingly defeating
Pontllyfni - Porthor 46.9 km (1506.7 km done)
Start Time - 8.42 am
Finish Time - 6.05 pm
Moving time - 7 hours 38 mins
Vertical Gain - 972 m
Average - 28 C
Min - 22 C
Max - 34 C
Support runners today
Some days the trails are kind and gentle to me and some days the trails are rough, gritty, never-ending and seemingly defeating. Today was a hard long day. This was the latest finish I've had for many weeks. But I still kept marching on to the end. The slow pace was caused by the heat and the trail. These two combined today into a perfect storm. Looking at the temperatures above, they don't seem too hot, really. But there was no cover at all for most of the day and the sun seemed to be on me all day, sapping my energy, draining any will to move quickly from me. There were times today that, as I passed one the many bays that litter the coast here, that I fantasised about just stopping for today and getting into the water. It was so inviting and looked so refreshing. These were fleeting thoughts that left as quickly as they came, just like a wave breaking on the shore. Other than these fantasies about swimming, I had no real thoughts about not finishing today.
The idea of not finishing doesn't really come into my mind at all. I am human, so I still have lots of doubt about my ability, but this does not impact me on a day to day basis. There are points every day when I struggle to run my 9 minutes and I think about walking, but even in those moments, ending early does not enter my head. I may struggle to keep running but there is no way I will not finish the day out as planned. It may take much longer than anticipated as today did but at no point did I consider throwing in the towel. It is helpful (sometimes) that I am contented to walk if need. As Dean Karnazes has said I will continue to "run when [I] can, walk if [I] have to, crawl if [I] must. [I will] just never give up"
People have asked how I can just keep going. I think that since it is not a race, it feels bigger to me somehow and so finishing each day is just what must happen
Since I finished later, it is late now and so I will leave it here for today.